Do I need a doula?

We are more than halfway through January! I don’t know about you all, but we’ve spent most of it being sick. Hopefully you are staying healthy! 

So far this month, I’ve explained in detail what a doula is and what we do. The next big question I want to answer is, “Do I need a doula?” 

You can hire a doula if:

-you or your partner are pregnant 

-you or your partner have had a baby in the last 12 months 

-you are facing a loss 

But do you actually NEED one? I would emphatically say YES. Every birthing, postpartum and grieving family needs a doula!

Doulas provide outside, focused support for the area of need. We attend the whole family as well. I am often reminding the husband to go get himself water or caring for the siblings of the new baby. 

We live in a time where families do not always have built in support, like we would have when we lived in villages. Sometimes family is able and willing to help or the family is part of a religious community or close friend group that offers support. Or sometimes, families feel that their partner is enough support and that they don’t need anyone else. 

Even if you do have “enough” support from family, friends or a partner, a doula is still a valuable, and, I would say necessary, person to have around. 

When you hire out a doula, you are paying them for a service and therefore, can be more frank about your expectations. It can be difficult or nearly impossible to do that with well meaning friends or family! 

I’ve also seen many times the strain a birth, new baby or loss can have a the couples relationship. Unmet expectations or hurtful comments from the partner can lead to resentment and less than satisfying birth experience and a very difficult postpartum. When you hire a doula, they can fill in the gap and show your partner with examples what they should be doing. Even if you think you’ve had all the conversations with your partner, having a doula ensures extra support and care during a huge transformation in your life and relationship. Having a child or weathering a loss can make or break a relationship- you want to make sure you’re doing everything you can to strengthen it. 

What if you’ve already done all of this before and it’s old hat? Do you still need a doula then? 

Having a birth doula for subsequent children can ensure that you have a satisfying, supported birth experience and that you don’t experience the disappointments you had in past births. 

A postpartum doula is, in my opinion, an absolute necessity for a family with older children at home. Postpartum should be a time of rest, healing and bonding with baby- and any parent knows how hard that is with kids around! A postpartum doula can come in and be your hand and feet while you rest, providing professional and compassionate care for your other children as they weather this transition. 

Death and bereavement doulas are always a help for those who are grieving, whether that is losing an elderly relative, a parent or a child. Having someone outside of your situation to talk to and lean on is a great comfort to those hurting. 

What if you can’t afford the cost of a doula? Many doulas offer a sliding scale or payment plans. Some also are willing to barter (trade) services. You could also ask for a portion of the fee as a baby gift or in lieu of flowers. 

I hope this blog was helpful in determining whether or not hiring a doula is the right choice for you. If you liked what you read here and want to see more of what I have to say, you can follow me on Instagram here: 

https://instagram.com/the_semi_crunchy_doula?utm_medium=copy_link

If you want a deeper dive into the life of a doula and want to have access to exclusive interviews with local birth professionals, giveaways and a community of parents just like you, subscribe to my private Facebook community here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesemicrunchydoula/?ref=share