Accessible self care for postpartum moms

 How many times have you been watching a reel with some peppy woman explaining her self care routine and rolled your eyes?

It's usually someone who looks like she slept more than 4 hours the night before, whose house is obnoxiously clean and who already has great skin. And their self care routine consists of three categories:

1. Expensive shit.

2. Time-consuming shit.

3. Recurring shit.

I don't know about you, but I don't have the time, money or schedule for most of the self care suggestions out there- but I DO need time and space to take care of myself. 

After struggling to find reasonable suggestions for ways to get a break as a busy mom, much less a freshly postpartum mom. So here I am writing this blog post!  I hope these suggestions are helpful for you, and give you a way to actually make time for yourself.

Accessible Self Care

1. Get a $1 menu item from a drive through and eat it in silence.

One of my favorite past times as a mom is to eat, with both hands, without being interrupted 50 times. (I'm super fun at parties, you should hang out with me!) If you're like me, I almost NEVER get to do that, and it was nearly impossible when I had a nursing infant. So when my kids were tiny, when my husband got home from work, I would leave and swing through a drive through to grab a drink, sandwich or a small fry. And then I would eat it in the parking lot before going home. If I nursed the baby right before leaving, it would give me enough time to eat and unwind for about 30 minutes before I needed to nurse him again. If you're super broke (been there), make yourself a coffee or a snack and take it with you.

2. Utilize grocery store pickup.

Listen, I know the substitutions are sometimes so, so stupid. But being able to do my grocery shopping during nap time or while the kids watch Ms Rachel and then be able to use the time I would have been shopping chilling by myself? *chef's kiss* 

The key is to tell your partner, "hey I'm going grocery shopping" and then chill in the parking lot for the time it would take you to shop. Bonus points if you mix the previous self care idea and this one!

3. Join the YMCA (or a local gym).

Listen, I'm not just plugging the Y because I work there part time (that free membership is amazing!). It really is a fantastic place for moms! You get 2 hours of childcare, every day. And you don't have to work out. You can use it to shower, get in the sauna or whirlpool if they have one, sit at a table and scroll TikTok by yourself, etc. The Y extensively trains and vets its staff, so you can rest assured that your children are safe and sound. The YMCA also has a sliding scale and discounted or free memberships for those in the military, firefighters, etc. 

4. Trade babysitting with another mom.

This is one I've done many times over the past few years! I have some amazing friends who I've been able to trade babysitting with. It not only gives me some time to myself, but it gives the kids a chance to play with friends. And I can fully rest assured that my children are in safe, trustworthy hands!

5. Hire out help for the "one thing" that drowns you.

I fully realize that hiring anything out falls into the "expensive shit" category outlined above; however, I really do think that hiring something, ONE thing out, especially the thing that drowns you, is a lifesaver. You know what I'm talking about- that one task, that one aspect of motherhood or adulthood that's about to be your thirteenth reason why. For me, it's dishes and laundry. For. you, it may be night waking. Or meal prepping. Or grocery shopping. Carving out room in your budget for a postpartum doula, a once a week housecleaner, a mother's helper, Instacart, Hello Fresh or any of the other services out there to save your mental health IS worth it, if you can do it.

6. Barter the above services.

I feel like I've said this in SO many blog posts- sorry not sorry for being a broken record. But this makes all of those amazing, expensive services accessible. I recently traded doula services for cleaning and babysitting services and LET ME TELL YOU- I love it. It's made life doable! 

7. Buy noise cancelling earphones on sale (or ask for them for Christmas).

I'm currently wearing said noise cancelling headphones while writing this blog post and y'all- this is the life. It's the over the ear ones, and I got them on a Black Friday Amazon sale. I put them on when I start to feel overstimulated and overwhelmed by #allthenoise, and it's been so helpful. 

8. Arrange a self care schedule with your partner.

Whether it's agreeing to Saturday as your sleep in day, a once a month solo hotel stay, or taking a 20 minute walk everyday when they get home from work, arranging a self care schedule with your partner can be amazing. It gives them time with the children, is free and maybe will help them appreciate what you do more! I know this isn't an option for everyone- and even if we do have a parter, a lot of us feel guilty asking them for help. I do too- but I want to encourage you to ask anyway. If they are doing life with you, and they care about you, then asking for more balance in your parenting should not be a problem for them! 

9. Say "no."

The best self care I have done is SAYING NO. 

"No, I cannot volunteer for church nursery."

"No, you may not have my food."

"No,  I don't want to do PTA this semester."

"No, I will not give into feeling guilty about giving the kids a popcorn and movie day so I can chill on the couch."

"No, I am not going to watch reels about all the toxic chemicals in the one food my kid is eating right now."

(Maybe that last one was too specific. You get the point.)

10. Take advantage of the free/cheap indoor play places in your area.

If this isn't your first baby and you have rambunctious toddlers who need to get out of the house, indoor play areas are a sanity saver. They're a great place to go with a sitter or partner, so you can sit with baby and let someone else chase the kids for a bit! Indy's Child has a great article on the different indoor play areas local to Indianapolis.

11. Ask for self care services on your baby registry, Christmas and birthday gifts.

I know this one seems incredibly obvious- but for me, when I was putting my registry together or when Christmas and birthdays come around and people ask me what I want, my mind goes blank!! I usually end up sending them an Amazon wishlist. And while there's items on that wishlist that are helpful, receiving money and babysitting for self care time is infinitely more helpful in this season that "stuff". 

You can use BabyList to add the following services to your registry via the Help and Favors tab.

Some ideas you can ask for, with local resources, if you're like me and need recommendations:

1. Massage (Mary Mountain at Restoration Massage and Reflexology is the BEST)

2. Chiropractic care (New Wave Chiropractic- Greenwood, Hope Chiropractic- Carmel, Align Life- Fishers, Sacred Spines-west side of Indy)

2. Postpartum Doula (Me, at Joyful Parenthood Doula Services)

3. Housecleaner (Clean Space Solutions)

4. Meal care service (Meals to mamas)

5. A personal photoshoot (Joylily Photography is my fave!)

6. Food/grocery delivery service such as Instacart (you can use my code RFRANCIS357108 to save yourself some money), Hello Fresh, Doordash, etc

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you! If you find yourself struggling with your mental health during this season of life (or year), please reach out to me. No one should go through postpartum, or any part of motherhood, alone or lonely. I'd love to support you during this time.

Talk to you all soon <3

Rachel